Thursday, December 20, 2007

The Other Todd Collins

While Redskins ball-sniffing savior quarterback Todd Collins was backing up Jim Kelly and Trent Green, linebacker Todd Fucking Collins was busy going to Super Bowls with the New England Patriots and St. Louis Rams. OK, so Todd F. Collins' middle name is actually Franklin. Whatever.

Neither player will have his bust displayed in Canton -- though TCQB might play his way into the Redskins' Ring of Honor if he can become the fourth and most awesomest quarterback to win a Super Bowl under Joe Gibbs -- but it's worth asking: Who is the greatest Todd Collins in NFL history? (You can play this game with Adrian Peterson, too.)

Let's take a look at the Tale of the Todds:



Todd F. Collins


Todd Collins

Carson-Newman, Georgia, and Tennessee

COLLEGE

Michigan

Played 9 years for the Patriots and Rams; played in two Super Bowls (XXXI and XXXIV); recovered two fumbles as a rookie.

CAREER HIGHLIGHTS

Set the NFL quarterback record for the longest time between starts; more to come. Wikipedia says: “No notable achievements.”

Attended same school (Carson-Newman) as former Baltimore Colts linebacker Sanders Shiver, who, incidentally, is the greatest player named Sanders Shiver to ever play the game.

USELESS FACTOID

Holds the career completion percentage record at Michigan. Suck it, Tom Brady.

Second image on Google image search for “Todd Collins.”

POPULARITY

First image on Google image search for “Todd Collins.”

Rubs charms and stones on areas of his body where he’s had a previous injury, an old Indian fetish.

“QUESTIONABLE” SUPERSTITION

Sniffs balls. No, really.


Analysis: Todd Collins holds an NFL record; Todd F. Collins just holds charms and stones over his body. Case closed -- even before TCQB adds that Super Bowl MVP award to his resume.

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