Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Are You Kidding Me?

What a game! It was especially fun to read this morning's recap of the Capitals' comeback in the New York Post; the beat writer essentially arguest that the Rangers aren't who we thought they were. Can you imagine how depressing the sports scene would be in DC without the Caps?

Wizards Lose -- To the Bocats

How bad are the Wizards? Last night they lost to a team made up of players who are half Bo Jackson, half cat. How do you lose to a team with whiskers and no hips? You start a lineup that features Andray Blatche and Mike James, and proceed to shoot 32 percent, that's how.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Consolation Prize

So the Nationals lost out on Mark Teixeira, but they got the next best thing: Corey Patterson! The Nationals signed the can't miss prospect-turned-journeyman who can't stay healthy to a minor league deal. Pop that champagne. Grab a stale Noah's pretzel. Patterson is a poor man's Mark Teixeira -- about $179 million poorer, actually. He hit .205, got on base at a .238 clip, and walked 16 times in over 350 at bats in Cincinnati last season. In other words, Jim Bowden signed an older Emilio Bonifacio. With Patterson guaranteed to come off the bench given the Nationals' already crowded outfield situation, Washington can boast the best pinch runner in the game. Outstanding. I just hope Santa's elves can sew me a Patterson jersey in time for Christmas.

Oh, and Teixeira, may you rot in pinstripes and be booed mercilessly when the fans realize that you're no Derek Jeter.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Cowboys Suck > Ravens Suck


Go San Diego!

Go Minnesota!

Go Redskins! Or don't, and put these far-fetched playoff aspirations to rest.

Friday, December 19, 2008

The Wizards Win...(a simulation of) the NBA Draft Lottery!!!!!

The Wizards could really use the first four picks in next year's draft. What are the chances of that happening? Maybe .02, .01 percent?

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Simeon Varlamov

There was a woman at the Caps game last night sporting a No. 40 Varlamov jersey, which was either really, really cool, or really, really questionable. Can something be really questionable? I don't know. I do know that it's still too early to proclaim Varlamov the Capitals' Next (First?) Great Goalie -- I'm still fighting the tendency to call him Varmalov -- but he did look pretty solid in making 29 saves against the Blues. Let's just hope that Varlamov has more sustained success in Washington than Jim Carey (above) and, 10 years from now, the woman in the No. 40 Capitals jersey is considered a trend-setter and not an unsuspecting model on

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Mike "Wild Thing" Green?

During the Capitals' thrilling 5-4 overtime win over the New York Islanders on Tuesday, the color commentator remarked that Mike Green's skating style reminds him of Al Iafrate. That's pretty solid company for Greenie.

In 1992, Iafrate became the first player to officially break the 100-mph shot barrier, when he did so in front of a Capital Centre crowd of 9,000 at Washington's Superskills competition. The event was one of 24 team-sponsored skills competitions throughout the league, with the top four qualifiers in each conference earning a spot in the skills competition at the All-Star Game. Iafrate, who attributed his success to "clean living," had the hardest qualifying shot among Wales Conference players that season; his 101.4 mph rocket beat out the likes of Uwe Krupp and Zarley Zalapski.

Amazingly, Iafrate's time in the fastest skater competition ranked second in the Wales Conference behind Mike Gartner and .06 seconds ahead of fellow All-Star qualifier and teammate Peter Bondra.

Iafrate didn't disappoint at the All-Star Game, blasting a shot that was measured at 105.2 mph. The video above is from the following season, when Iafrate retained his title with a shot that only registered at 102 mph.