Friday, August 22, 2008

Cubs Broadcasters Are Morons

With the Nationals in Chicago for a three-game series with the Cubs, I took advantage of the opportunity to watch the opener on WGN. I like MASN's Carpenter-Sutton pairing just fine, but I can always use some fresh perspective while watching the worst team in baseball. Much to my dismay, Len Kasper and Bob Brenly didn't provide it.

As a graphic showing each category in which the Cubs ranked first and the Nationals ranked last was displayed, Kasper explained how the Cubs players still considered Washington a pesky team that they can't take lightly. The Nationals, after all, have nothing to lose at this point -- except more baseball games. Blah, blah, blah. Hackneyed? Sure, but I understand the sentiment. WGN conveniently left out the one category that the Nats rank first in: "Number of Light-Hitting Middle Infielders."

I didn't really start to wonder if Kasper was sleeping with Stan Kasten until Emilio "Why Walk When You Can Run" Bonifacio and Christian Guzman both grounded out weakly to second base to start the game. After Guzman was called out on a bang-bang play at first base, Kasper said something to the effect of, "You can really see how dangerous the top of this Nationals lineup could be. With the speed at the top of the order, they could wreak some havoc on the basepaths and score some runs if they could get on base." Um, yeah, and the heart of the order -- Zimmerman, Milledge, and Belliard -- could strike fear in eyes of opposing pitchers if they could, you know, hit a lot of home runs.

Bonifacio has four walks and 29 strikeouts this season, with most of his at-bats coming in the leadoff spot. Guzman has 18 walks and 45 strikeouts. Neither of them belongs anywhere near the top of the order.

Perhaps by Sunday, when the Cubs complete their third consecutive shutout of the Nats, Kasper and Brenly will realize that there is nothing potentially dangerous about Washington's current lineup, except to those who have to watch it suck.

No comments: